Team New.S.A.

Here's your holdovers, and newbies, for the FIBA Championships this summer, as well as your 2012 Olympic squad hopefuls. Holdovers: Mamba, Dayron, Wade, CP, Melo, LBJ, D Howard, Bosh, and Boozer. I'd like to say these are all locks, but I can't see Boozer playing at this level in two years. Sorry I just think he's selfish and only plays for stats. Utah fans may disagree, but I don't think they have any "real" fans anyways so who cares. So with eight definites, that only leaves a possibility of seven more players to add on. So given that Durant is a lock, what six do you pick from: Billups, Rudy Gay, Eric Gordon, Granger(lock!), the other A.I., (Al) Jefferson, new all-star D.Lee, Brook Lopez, Love, Mayo, L.O., Amare, Gerald Wallace, Westbrook, D Rose, and for some unGodly reason Kendrick Perkins. Well he's not making it. And neither is Lamar/Khloe Odom. Westbrook, Love, Gordon, and Lopez are not quite there. Good, but not Internationally good. Yet. The other A.I. is not good enough. D. Lee I think would play splendidly given the Euro rules and his knack for hard work, but I don't think the committee will pick him over Wallace. Granger makes it based on his Redd appeal. Simply put he is one of few who can consistently hit the three ball. Which is imperative in Int'l play. Ask Chauncey and Amare. Speaking of, they both make it based solely on kick back for playing on weaker squads. Jefferson makes it because they need size. So that leaves Gay, D Rose, and Mayo for the last spot. This was a tough decision. Do I take Rose's floor game and ability to break down the D? Mayo's game is really that, but he's a little bigger in size. So, do I take Mayo? Well, that's essentially what Gay is. Plus, he's bigger than Mayo. And can post up. And can hit the three. And he's impressed the panel by making the Grizzles (yes, Grizzles, not Grizzlies) watchable. So there's your squad: Guards-Dayron, Wade, CP, Mamba, Billups*, and Gay. Forwards-LBJ, Melo, Durant, Granger, Wallace. Centers- Howard, Bosh, Amare, and Jefferson. What a team!

*Rose makes it if Billups legs fall off before summer of 2012. Which is possible considering he's been playing since my KJ jersey days. Interesting tidbit, Rondo and bum-ass Bynum turned down offers to join the preliminary squad. AKA, save yourself the embarrassment and stay home. Bynum, what a joke.

Speaking of needing to retire, Pedro Cerrano AKA Malik Yoba AKA Delgado stated recently that if he doesn't get the contract he believes he deserves then he'll retire. Hmmm. Haven't I heard this somewhere before? Oh yeah The Real A.I. said that. And he eventually got a contract. And has promptly been hurt/not there for "personal" reasons, since signing said contract. So am I to expect an tear-filled news conference, followed by signing, followed by uninspired play? As much as it pained me to write negatively towards News' own Bubbachuck, I'd like to take a pass on the drama. No thanks. He's not worth it.

Lastly, I thought I'd touch on the fact that Maurice Clarett was again asking for early release from prison. Then I realized how hilarious it is that he's in prison and I completely forgot. So I chose otherwise. Instead, here's hoping that the NFL does in fact agree on a new CBA because then my Bills can sign Peppers. Is that too muchto ask. He's too expensive right now, and we're simply aren't good enough for him to waste away. Give me two years, a couple solid draft picks, a new league contract, and he'll be ours for the taking. J/S

Glad baseball is my #1

So with recent news about a possible lockout in 2011 bears a few questions.
First, does that make the summer smoregesborg of 2010 less enticing? I say, no. I'm excited to see where all these free agents will end up just like when you did a round robin draft in Live and players ended up anywhere. I think we'll find new found love for the game, as well as some heavy sulking for those who don't get the chance to play with LeBron. Then, if a lockout happens, teams can work on chemistry for a whole year. Then think about how good teams will be. I mean my Pacers might even steal someone. Imagine a Steve Nash driven offense in Indy. Well, at least I can. Granger would average 40 a night.

Second, will this drive desire for the game down even more? They just had a lock out ten years ago. Then, to drive the final nail, the reason everyone watched officially retired. Tim Duncan's boring ass was leading us into this new renaissance of defense and team play. This new slow down ball cost the Lake Show (including a pre-Heat freebie Payton and Mailman), LBJ's Cavs, and Zie German's Mavs all titles. For the record, no one wants to root for Ginobili, Duncan, and Parker. No one. Have a I explained to you how much I hate Thonie Par-care? Oh I can't wait until Duncan retires so he can stop making this bum look good. Anyways, if not for the draft of 2003, the NBA might have folded by now.

So, I'd say this lock out is just what the game needs. Give people a season to try and get introduced to these new video game squads. Vegas will go nuts. ANYONE could win it all. Well anyone who has LBJ and another all-star. Could you imagine how well he'd play if he were truly motivated? Oh yeah, that's happening right now. The Cavs are good people. Thank you cuz for reminding me. This is a team that right now is playing with a crazy PG, without another injured one, with Boobie Gibson, with Verajao as a top three offensive contributor, Z, sans knees, and Shaq sans anything. But they are playing out of their minds right now. Shit, just check Danny Green's diameter on his smile. If they win it all I swear this guy has to be the Eric Hinske of championship winners.

Then, just as quick, take it all away. That off season the chatterboxes would be hawking. Trades will get thrown around, as pick up games turn into All-Star exhibitions. Then a deal would inevitably get struck sending us all into a frenzy debating over who's out of shape, who wants to retire, and more importantly, who is more driven. This will be an intriguing few months as talks continue.

Did I mention that the NFL make lock out after next season? Possibly this season? Hence the title.

Who Dat gon' win da Super Bawl!

Congratulations to the New Orleans Saints for finishing one off the most memorable seasons ever. Not just NFL, but of every game I have ever watched. I've watched great ones: Miller's 8 points in 18 seconds against the Knicks, one game playoff last year to see the Twins win the title, Cuse's 6 OT game last year. I've seen some bad: Wychek's forward pass/Miracle, The Giants dismantling of Moss and Culpepper's mighty Viking squad in the NFC Championship, and Van de Velde nutting in the clutch. But nothing topped the excitement and shear magnitude that SB 44 brought. I mean I, like most, thought after 10-0 the game was looong over. Peyton and his line were firing at will. I don't think the Saints so much as sniffed Peyton in quarter 1. Then all of sudden the Saints coaches went all, uuuhhhh let me find just the right adjective. All Peyton on the Colts and figured out not only ways to pressure the QB, but stuff a sudden champion like run game, all the while turning up the heat on offense. They literally did what the Colts had done to the Jets two weeks ago. I wouldn't be surprised to learn the Saints watched that entire tape. Oh wait. They can, and did. Brees laid a crawfish-laced smack down on the Colts beleaguered D and started ringing up the board like a 65 year old at Keno. A splendidly pulled off onside kick and a deja-vu induced Porter pick later and the Saints were giving humans a legitimate reason to call out on Monday. Here's to the Saints. You deserve it. Peyton, Next year baby!

Kudos to the NFL committee that was responsible for committing what I call one of the worst crimes in the history of mankind. A robbery has taken place. This crime I speak of is that of Andre Reed not getting inducted into Canton. Now, it's bad enough that Carter and Tim Brown didn't get in, but to leave out the G.W.R.O.A.T.N.N.J.Rice! It's an abomination! It's a hypocrination! And a tyrnantion! The three Touchdown's that solidified the Frank Reich led greatest comeback of all time comeback? The rat tail? I mean come on. What does a guy have to do? Win a Super Bowl? Oh yeah.

Moving on, muchas gracias Nova for falling to Georgetown. This is a of course a prelude to my summarizing of how ODU can now beat Nova. Nova, your not as much toughness and almost as good scoring ability display showed why you belong outside of the top 5. Here's to my Pacers drafting Reynolds. Hey, he's like 27. You know he's NBA ready. J/S

Uh Ms. Vonn, I hope that's a yoga move.

Looks like the PM (Post Melo) life is what's best suiting the Nuggets right now. They are 5-2 in the seven games Melo has missed and Big Shot is playing out of his mind right now. He hoists up a career high in shots in Mondays win against Sactown and now hits a career high 39 in taking out Mamba and the Lake Show. It must be nice for Melo to have someone who can carry the team when you are down. Imagine if Wade or Bron had that? Wade did, and won a championship. LBJ is about to, but with a ton less help. Wouldn't you think that Melo could win one with Billups, long-range extrordinaire J.R., and a big man (Nene) who I have noticed is playing extremely well. Put Wade or LeBron on this team and we are talking powerhouse. It's amazing that Melo was the one who won the college title. Where'd that pedigree go? I really can not see the Nuggets winning with him because he doesn't have that drive that he had in college. I watched Syracuse's championship game and he had a need in him. This yearning to be the best. It made him a killer. Once he collected that first check and married LaLa, that all changed. He doesn't want to be the man, just a great player. Kind of like Nique. CAN dominate, but isn't hungry enough to do it night in and night out. Get out now Chauncey, while there is still time. I know it's your dream to play for the hometown Nugs, but it ain't happening. Sorry.

In other "Champion" news, Mike Irvin was recently sued in civil court for rape. Now first off, I'm sure he had sex with her. Secondly, I wasn't aware it was possible to civil sue for rape. It's basically her saying look, you manhandled me in the bedroom, and I may have or may not have liked it. Regardless, unless you want me to go the media with this "rape" you gon' have to come up with some Champion-like greenbacks. Wait, I'm no lawyer, but this seems a bit like extortion to me. And to drive the final nail, apparently the sides were working on a settlement, but couldn't agree, and like clockwork, the story broke. First she reportedly wanted a million, then it was 800,000. Shit, for a trip to Fiji that my lady so badly wants, I'll sell my body to Irvin. Hey man, 30 minutes of hell for a lifetime of whatever-it-is-I-want-to-do-in-the-sack? I'll take it. "Remember Fiji" would be the new slogan in the Dunn home. "Oh your tired? I'm sorry. You know when I was REALLY tired. Remember Fiji". Ahhh, sit back and enjoy. I'm telling you. He's no Redford, but if I close my eyes real tight.....lol I digress.....

A story I hadddd to read about was USC's recruitment of a 13 year old boy. No you read that right, 13! So I have a problem with this for a number of reasons. First, he's 13. That's all. No not really, but come on. This poor 13 year old kid will now have this enormous pressure on him to not get hurt, stay focused, get the grades, and most importantly, PERFORM. What kind of life is that for a 13 year old? Second, what are they to do when Kiffin's gone? Because he most certainly will be by 2015. He's a leach, as USC will soon learn. I thought when he signed to UT and instantly generated bad publicity that it was an omen. A couple months into his USC job and...I swear I have this weird case of deja vu. There is no guarantee that the next head coach will still want this kid. And oh what damage that would do to the kid? Last, what a jerk his father is.
To quote him, "For the people that don't like kids getting recruited early, if it was their kid, what would they do? Would they hold them back?" "I understand people's opinions and I respect that everybody is allowed to have an opinion but I don't really have a problem with people young, old or in between getting recruited. I don't think it's a big deal. People talk about pressure and expectations but that's not who David is. He doesn't feel a lot of pressure. (Uhh, BECAUSE HE'S 13!!!!!!) He loves football and he likes to have fun. I told him if it ever gets to a point where he's not having fun to stop and we'll play golf."
Really? Golf? Typical. Everything can just be swept away because the kid gets bored. Look at 13 I wanted to be an oceanographer. (Sue me. Something about seeing a young Affleck in Voyage of the Mimi did something for me) You could have given me a yacht and an X on a map, and I would have been good. Now? I'd kill myself. Point being, he may looove football, but who is to say he will in five years. I get it dad and USC, this is just in-case. Well it's a good thing dad also likes football because something inside of me says that if it were Nascar, we'd be second-guessing letting our little man onto the track. I just see this going down in flames, no pun intended.

One more blip just because I have been absent for a day, and just cause I feel like it. Lindsey Vonn looks hot on the S.I. cover. Feminists get over it. I guarantee you more men watch downhill skiing than ever before. Be fortunate that you have an extremely hot representative to promote the sport. Yeah I understand it's sexist, but the people who make most of the head promotions and advertising decisions are men. You want your sport more nationally broadcast, men are who you see. Look, it didn't take me moving to one of the largest cities in the world to know men love women. Doesn't matter what they look like. But this one is hot. So shut up and allow her to bring more attention to a sport no one cared about. If the WNBA had a knockout like Vonn, maybe they wouldn't be folding in two years. (Wait they're not? Wishful thinking)

See you Monday. Hopefully there is a game big enough to talk about.

Winner Here!

Locker room issues in Boston eh? So says All-Star PG Rajon Rondo. Well I guess there has to be right? What could this team be not caring about? Fighting for another Championship? Regaining All-Star status? Proving people wrong by playing your arse off so you don't get traded to a non-contender like Charlotte? (here's looking at you Jesus) I think the Celtics need to just take a step back, breathe, dig in, and play ball. I was watching the C's game against the Lake Show and I heard the announcer state that Rondo was the C's best player right now. Really? I mean I am a UK man blue and blue, but a team with three possible future HofF's, I can't see that. Am I supposed to believe that Garnett is done? That Jesus just can't run the court anymore? That Pierce is finally showing affects from that Michael Myers like stabbing from year's back? No way. Cause if so, they got problems. I mean I don't think I have ever seen Perkins smile, ever. So we know he's not motivating anyone. (BTW, what is it with this kid? Is he really that mean/mad. Did he have a rough upbringing? I mean he did jump from high school to the league. You would think they were making him play for peanuts and not millions of dollars! Cheer up you fuck.) So we shall see. One thing I do know is they have seven wins in their last eighteen, and have major problems, with minimal answers.

In other news, Amare' is being drenched in trade talk. I see the best scenario going to....no, not my Pacers. Although the idea of mixing Stoudemire with Granger is quite appealing, I don't see that kind of good luck happening. Plus we're waiting for "the summer of 2010!". Oh, (shaking head) no we're not. No cap room. Too many garbage players. You know who is second on our depth chart at Center: Soloman Jones! The worst part is Roy Hibbert is our damn starter. No hope. Come on ping pong ball!Yet I digress. I believe he should go to the Bulls. Amare' can't play D and Noah is crazy enough that he'll literally kill someone to stop them from scoring. And he doesn't have to do anything on offense. Win-Win. Kind of like Big Ben in Detroit, but looks like an alien from District 9. Also the Bulls have the young talent to unload. Imagine Stoudemire running the lane with Rose on his left and Deng on his right. Istantly top 5 in the East. And Del Negro would instantly become Amare's bitch.

On a semi-related note, I believe LeBron is staying. He loves Cleveland. That's home.

On a last note I'd like to say congrats to Coach Dooley and the boys for already giving me something to cheer about with their first major move as HWGIC. Snagging 5 star Rogers and doing me a personal favor and getting Hunter from Va Beach gave us two big solid WR's. And two 4 star O-linemen. And a 6'6" QB with crazy upside. Here come my Vols. See what Peyton can do!

And middle finger you to the Florida Yankees for getting whomever they wanted. Nice wallets. (That's not fair and not true. I'm just mad so screw it.)

So I just read about two contracts that are quite frankly, unheard of. They are being proposed to two players that are masters at their prospective crafts. I witnessed one for all but the first month of, and last two weeks of the season. In person, at Yankee stadium, in the bleachers, draped with Twins gear, I saw him hit a 402 foot blast to center with a swing so effortless I immediately got pelted with water bottles. It was shear jealousy. The second, I had the pleasure of watching for an entire 60 minutes, completely stay positive when threatened, calmly dissect his opponent, and strike with four straight blows so lethal, the team barely moved post intermission. The first: Joe Mauer. The second: Peyton. Their contracts as follows...

Mauer was reportedly proposed a ten year deal. Ten Years! What is this, hockey? Soccer? Does he deserve this? Well initially, I thought yes. Hey, in his twilight year's he could still swing a sweet stick, even if the power stroke is gone. But he'll still rake somewhat because he's got a swing like Junior. But, then the ol' noodle got to churning. How healthy will Mr. Everything be when he's 36. I mean he did just get back surgery, and he is a catcher so one can only wonder. I love you Joe, but we might have to give you the Vlad treatment. So in that case, I say please, please resign him by Opening Day (which they will), and make it for 6 years. That gives a solid core of the M & M boys squared to see if they can win one for Kirby. Outcome 6 years- $110 million

Now Peyton is a different monster all together. Unquestionably will go down as the greatest QB ever, but the question is will he go down as Elway, or Favre? By this I mean will he go down winning and becoming a leader and teammate. Or will he go out gun slinging, although with diminished skills, still attempting to win it all on his own. Even though he has one of the best up and coming receivers in the game (Rice/Garcon), a game changer (Percy/Wayne), Hard nose runner (AP/Addai), and a killer defense! So the choice is up to him. I believe he'll conform to the team around him and continue to lead by example. I will say this. Two years from now, they better draft a solid QB for him to groom. I think Peyton is a smart enough player to know when his time has come. Maybe not though. Maybe he'll pull a Montana and almost hurt his legacy ala Joe Cool's formidable Cheif years. We just don't know.

But I do know this, this is all just wistlin' dixie because the real reason to ooh and aah over someone else's upgrade will really get you giratin' come summer. Three letters. LBJ.

As I end this I will leave you with this to ponder: If Georgetown beat Duke, and ODU beat Georgetown, then ODU could beat Duke right? Little baby Jesus please let us meet in the dance? This is all I ask of you.

Pro Bowl 50% off clearance

Man oh man. What a weekend in sports. Instant classics( C's-Lakeshow) and foreseen duds (Pro Bowl) made my cup runneth over, leading to a near-fatal bout of alcoholism from sports. Where oh where to begin. Since I'm feeling so high, how about down under.

Fed captured number 16 in unthrilling fashion. I think I've labored through the Mrs.' deconstruction of Project Runway in more interesting fashion(I'm being facetious mind you). Murray decided to play lame duck the first two rounds and after Fed had cut it to hour five cruise control, Murray made just enough unforced errors to finish himself off. He cried. Fed smirked. Next year buddy. Or more like next year that Federer is retired. Oh and Sarena won. Of course.

Oh what an abomination the Pro Bowl has become. I mean I tried my hardest to get behind the hype, but a combination of an unwillingness to care and Lady GaGa's hoola-hoops, I was just taken away. So somewhere in the third quarter maybe I flipped during a commercial and caught the number one reason why I KNEW I shouldn't have wasted my energy on this nonsense: David Gerard was in the game. REALLY!? No one else in the AFC was good enough. Oh yeah that's because Brady's hurt, Rivers is hurt, and Peyton is Championship bound. My vote was for Fitzpatrick. Oh, and did I see Vince Young? I guess he deserved it. Anyways a bunch of points were scored, no one cared, and UVA's own Matt Schaub got MVP. That in itself should tell you all you needed to know.

In NBA news:
I got the pleasure/pain of watching the C's-Lakeshow game this weekend. Man I'll tell you one thing and I swear I am not being biased. Rondo is an All-star. I mean this kid diced through the Lakers so nicely that psycho with the Slapchop couldn't have explained it. It got so bad that Mamba bitched D Fisher into guarding a wobbly Shuttlesworth* and he himself decided to check Rondo. Well needless to say Mamba hit the game winner as the Lakers continued the NBA's recent beat down of the C's.
*Here is my assessment of Jesus. He might not make it past the trade deadline. He's moving slow man. Really slow. And I love Jesus. And not only Jake's son, but I noticed a few things about both teams.
First the C's. Garnett is done. He's running around like Pat Ewing in his Sonic year. Either he's the greatest non-Oscar nominated actor ever or he's hurting. I mean I don't think I have seen that many "my bad" chest taps after being schooled since my cuz Adam getting diced up by me on the court. (He may not agree) Pierce is their force. And every three he shoots looks like he had to give birth just to get it to the rim, but they ALWAYS fall.
Now the Lakers. Gasol should have dominated more. I don't know, the passion just doesn't seem completely there. Bynum is once again garbage. The announcers kept talking about how developed he's become. All I see is a defensive liability that was getting bodied by Perkins angry tail all day. He gets a couple put backs and suddenly he's Kareem. Fish is done. I see him getting traded by the dealine too. And lastly, Artest was NOT the answer. The Lakers are not winning the tile not in spite of, but because of him. And that hurts, but I have seen him jack up too many ill-advised three pointers to see them make it.

I'll end this with more bickering. And guess who it's about. I'll give you one guess. Don't know. It's Monday. So who else could I be talking about, but those connected Blue Devils. Another loss. Another top ten position. And UK dropped to THIRD!!!! Don't you know this was just our first loss? Man they treat UK like they just spray painted a whore in Taiwan. Canes blazing.