Bats, Balls, Beer, and..........Twwiiinns.

So before we get to the true purpose of today's edition I must speak on McNabb. Now, I understand that the Skins are making all these moves in order to get back into contention, but where does McNabb fit in? He's going to give you two, maybe three, years of okay performance and solid leadership. Is he simply a mentor to whomever they draft in a couple weeks? Or his he someone that you are looking to take you to the Super Bowl? I believe he is the former. He believes he is the latter. This question better get answered quickly or Snyder and Shanahan are looking at another long season. And don't get me started on Willie Parker's unneeded signing. Or the fact that McNabb snubbed my Bills. Middle Finger you McNabb. As I stated previously, enjoy your enventual decline a'la Culpepper. And I just heard that the Skins didn't even have the common courtesy to tell Campbell beforehand. Damn, enjoy that nonsense Donovan. Hey Jason, Buffalo has an opening. But know that we are drafting Tebow. Campbell/Tebow 2010? Damn that. Get me Vick. Now.

And on to the good stuff.....

We'll start with the AL today. I thought about writing both and then realized baseball is my bread and butter. I have an opinion about everything in this sport. So with that being said,

AL EAST
The Yankees will win this division because not only do they have the best 1-2 (Sorry Boston, I hate Burnett too, but I simply don't trust Lackey. Yet.), but they have that damn mystique that I saw cripple team after team last season. (I got to witness Melky Cabrera's 9th inning walk-off off of Nathan, in the right field bleachers, with my boy Jay, a die-hard Yank, and at Yankee stadium. Suffice it to say we lost two more in a row that series in come-from-behind fashion. If it wasn't my first trip to the new stadium I might have killed myself.) Granderson is an upgrade over Melky. Javy Vazquez is an upgrade over Wang. Nick Johnson is an upgrade over Godzilla, simply because the man gets on base like 80% of the time. The Yankees got better, where their best comp were, at best, even. The Sox have solid pitching and resigning Beckett will go along way with maintaining the pitching staff's confidence. They lost Bay, and replaced him with strikeout king Mike Cameron. That improves their D, but their D was not the issue. In that little league LF, is their really much disparity needed between fielders. I mean Manny played there. Shit, Bay played there and he's like Lady Dunn when it comes to shagging fly balls. All this and Cam still ain't giving you what Bay did. And Papi is another year removed from 'roids. And they traded 'Tek's world knowledge for Martinez's bat. That might have been the toughest mistake/move to overcome. We'll find out as soon as we see Beckett and the crew's ERA skyrocket levels over last years numbers. The Rays will contend and steal wins, but their pitching is also shaky to me. Kazmir gave them nothing before leaving last season, and most importantly, they didn't replace him. Price doesn't look like he has found "it" yet. They supposedly have a stud frosh. Big Game James, I don't think so. They will hit though. If pitching holds up they will battle, but I don't think they can overcome that "if". I love Wieters, but the O's are eons away. But they do have a solid young core with the pitching they've matured, as well as Wieters and Adam "Not Pacman" Jones. The Jays. Hmmm. They will piss you off enough by sweeping a crucial July series, but will not matter in September so who cares. Good job resigning Lind though.

AL CENTRAL
Come on do I need to say it. Twins in 2010!!!!! Mauer repeats as MVP. Liriano, first Cy Young. J/K, but seriously we have a solid ass team this year. Let me go through it for you. Ok, so Nathan is out. Boo f-ing Hoo. We'll be okay simply because....Mauer is healthy. Morneau is healthy. Kubel is coming off of a career year (.300-28-103), and is healthy. Span has a full season under his belt. Healthy. Delmon Young tore the cover off the ball this spring. Cuddyer is healthy. We replaced the weakest part of our defense, middle-infield, (Casilla, OC/Punto/Harris) with two all-star caliber players (Hardy, O-Dog), one being a 4-time gold Glover (O-Dog). We essentially replaced Gomez's obscurity with....wait for it. Jim "F-ing" Thome!(I made the nickname up) And oh the pitching. Baker is solid as our one. Blackburn gives us 200 innings, and .500 baseball. And he's motivated by a new contract. Liriano had an ERA near 1 in winter ball and Spring Training. What does that mean? Uh oh. He's fully healed from that two year old Tommy John surgery. Not good for hitters. Pavano will be just as he was after the trade deadline for us last year. An innings hog, who proved that he can't pitch under the big city lights. Welcome to Minny! And a fifth who was 10-2 with an ERA at 3.00 before he got injured last year in Slowey. So add that up and you have a division Champ. Also because, Detroit got worse. They only have Verlander to count on every fifth day. Mags is done. Grandy is a Yankee. The Beast known as Cabrera stopped drinking and lost weight, but unfortunately also lost his protection in the line-up. Who else is gonna provide pop for them. DAY-MUN. Yeah right. Oh yeah and Procello will come alive this year, but you can only win a divisional series with two starters. Not a full season. Come playoff time, they won't be an option. The Indians, sorry P, but are very bad. They managed to make Grady Sizemore the least significant player in baseball with that last name. Not a good sign when he's your best player. The Royals I like their moves, but again don't have enough help for Grienke, who is waiting for the day that he can opt out and join the Dynasty. Just to piss us all off. But thanks for continuing Ankiel's career for me. A story of overcoming adversity that I always enjoy to hear. Lastly, we get the only team that can challenge us, Ozzie's Sox. No, not the ones on his personal twitter photos. I'm speaking of the other ones he leaves hanging out to dry. You know, the players? I have never seen a person do less and expect as much as Ozzie Guillen. Oh yeah I have, the Kardashians. Did I just compare Ozzie Guillen to Kim Kardashian? Yes, yes I did. So quick to complain, yet rarely provides a logical solution. Oh, you think I am downing the man? Oh God no. Please Wizard of Odd, continue to be the game time distraction that my Twins can feed off of. Peavy isn't enough. I will continue to hate Buerhle out of respect, and I believe they'll miss the protection that Dye's bat gave Hittin' Carlos Quentin. He'll slide, along with the rest of the O. This will of course cause the pitching to flounder trying to overcome the lack of runs. A mid season Peavy injury will cancel their postseason hopes.

AL WEST
The A's suck. Now that we have that out the way. No wait, back to them. Can you believe they sent down Cust, they're only offense last year, and made Chavez their DH? What?! Beane must know something not even his wife knows. Is he even married? Quick, we need that Moneyball movie with Pitt developed. Now. As far as the teams that do matter, this division is the toughest to call. I still don't think, even with Nolan Ryan at the helm, that the Rangers have the pitching moxie (a word I love) to contend all season. I do like Vlad and Nelson Cruz hitting back to back though. Offense will carry them through most games. Not enough though. That leaves us with the "Constants" and the "Breath of Fresh Air". The Angels lost Lackey (an innings hog) and replaced him with Kazmir (the exact opposite of an innings hog). And they lost Ervin Santana. And I'm not completely sold on lil' Weaver. Nor am I from a year older Matsui and Abreu. But, they do have Torii and as long as he's still being the greatest CF in baseball then they have a chance. If he goes down, uh oh. The M's are Americas sexy pick this year. Solid off season acquisitions (Lee, Figgins, crazy Milton Bradley) to accompany a hungry remaining core (Junior Griffey, Ichiro, and King Felix). This all adds up to a team primed to succeed. Problem is Lee's already hurt, Figgins got paid too much, and everyone else is a year older. I know Ichiro and Felix are gonna provide their usual, but will Gutierrez stay hot? Will Lee come back healthy? Will they all mesh? I think so, and their manager has proven to get the best out of his players. I say that this will be their year. Congrats J Bake, your boys will finally breakthrough.

Tomorrow, NL. OH boy, I can't wait for the METS.