God I hate Cano

Thank you all for your patience. Between acting rehearsals and wedding planning, Hay Dios Mio, there's not enough Dunn to go around. But here I am back to complain. And oh aren't there so many reasons. Tiger looks like a jerk with that goatee (BTW, so he confessed to Elin that the total number of infidelities is now 120. Does it matter? 1 or 120. Tiger, women don't care which it is. Ask MJ.) In addition to this blasphemy, what's the deal with Gordon getting his panties all in a bunch because JJ hurt his only chance for a win. You know what Jeff, get better. Than you won't have to wait to win. Crybaby.

Also, I must comment, briefly albeit, on the Caps collapse. This should be talked about more. This has new era Dallas Mavericks written all over it. And irony is alive and well looking at the now ended Spurs/Mavs series. Sorry no knowledgeable hockey match up to compare. Maybe the Sharks recent meltdowns, but this was 3-1! No way the Caps should have lost. And what happened? Did the Canadiens really want it that much more? Doubtful. Dirk..ehemm...sorry, Ovechkin simply could not do it all on his own. After being held without a SOG in game 1, Washington should have known something was up. Instead of adjusting accordingly they decided to take the 'ol this-can't-possibly-happen-again-in-a-million-years-approach and sat idly by whilst(love that word) Montreal decided to go all Red Sawx on them and take out the champ. Or should I say supposed Champ. My new pick: Blackhawks babay!

Now for the true purpose of this blog. I debated heavily if I should write what Lee suggested and talk about the lack of black athletes in boxing. Or was it baseball? Regardless, half of me is losing representation in two major sports. The RBI program can't possibly help it all, can it? Well Howard did just get $125 million, so maybe it can. More on this in a future entry. Instead, I decided to talk about the athletes that I hate. I love to complain about everything in sports and these "good" players, for whatever reasons, just haven't been able to convince me that they are worthy. My perception can be changed so don't think I am simply a hater. I hated Neyo the singer. I thought he was being force fed down my throat because their just weren't any other R&B singers out there. Are you truly good if you are the only one? A question T-Pain should ask himself. Eventually Neyo convinced me through an interview that he is just a guy who likes music and tries to make it to the best of his ability. Fine. I'll take that. I just think these athletes are all garbage for their very own personal reasons, which I will detail. This will start with the players I only kind of dislike and will end with a full meltdown on Robinson Cano. It actually just angered me to even type his name.

First up: Andrew Bynum/Joakim Noah
They get coupled in a category simply because essentially they embody the kind of garbage play/announcer love that only Varajao or Bruce Bowen could have garnered. First Bynum.
Has there ever been a more garbage player who the Association thought was a beast? Before you answer, ask yourself this question. Since Bynum has come into the league, when he hasn't been injured (which is always), name me one All-Star caliber, no, not even, name me one average CENTER (Not PF masking as C, but true C) he has dominated? Anyone? Anyone? And Nenad Kristic definitely doesn't fucking count. (Waiting patiently as the Jeopardy theme plays) Any? Exactly. None. He is the softest, weakest, most untested, shrinking when the game is on the line, big man I have ever seen. And you're reading someone who witnessed the Kwame Brown, Darko, Oden, AND Never Nervous Pervis fiasco's. He whines when he's touched. A 14 and 7 night is a BIG deal for him, AND he plays in an era where it is widespread knowledge that the true Center is an endangered position. He plays with the best player in the game (barely) right now, another big man who can shoot or play inside, who's an All-Star himself BTW which causes the other teams big to leave Bynum for a better player, and he still can't dominate. Regardless how much shorter or lighter the comp is. Bynum is a soft bitch and because of my hatred for him I won't even get into Noah. I will say this about Noah though. If Florida didn't have Brewer and Horford to help them win b2b National Championships, Noah wouldn't even have gotten drafted. Now he has the balls to question the Cavs? Get serious Noah. Make 1 jumper. Just 1, and then you can compare games. And I am not talking about Noah in the Monte' Ellis sense. A player who was so good that a rookie made him instantly trade bait and insignificant. Yeah you're a beast Ellis. To the Ellis family.

Before I get to the most overrated player in the history of sports please let me send huge F.U.'s to these players who could have gotten a comment or two, but the human brain doesn't have that much of an attention span. So, Redskins version of McNabb, T.O., Romo, the Cowboys, and the Bills brass, your NFL time will come.

Til then....
Oh Robinson Cano, how I loathe thee. Has there ever been a player in a more forgiving situation who thought that being surrounded by HofF talent actually made you one? Maybe Wes Welker? Or Bruce Bowen? Or Derek Fisher? No, they don't come close. Cano is garbage. Why you ask? Because he has had constant protection around him since he joined the Yankees. And how hard is it to play on a team that I could start 2nd base for? If you can remotely hit a fastball you can thrive in his position. Having Jete, Tex, Posada, Matsui, A-Rod, and Damon all hitting before you will get you a lot of fastballs. The pitcher is so worried about the other true All-Stars (not Torre picking you because of favoritism, but true All-Stars), he is ready to burn right through Cano, Nady, Swisher, Cairo, Gardner, and what ever other filler is down there. Ok, so you hit a few solid shots over that Little League porch in right. Congrats. Here's my proof that he sucks. Put Cano on any other team. Matter of fact, switch him with Hill form the Jays and try to tell me that you would have even heard of Cano by now. The only reason anyone knows who he is is because he plays for the Yanks. He would be a .275/18/78 guy a season easily away from the confines of the Bronx. Is that an All-Star? Maybe if he was the lone rep from the Pirates. And I know for a fact he couldn't beat out McCutcheon or maybe even Lastings. Well Lastings might have been a stretch, but you get the point. Please debate me on this issue because I love to bash this guy. The League, and myself, will be much happier when he finally loses his spot on the team. Until then, I guess I'll have to endure you. Did I just quote Edward Cullen? I wish a vampire was here to massacre Cano. Oh dreams. Til Monday.