Close, but no cigar

First and foremost, screw Tiger Woods. Who says that Tiger winning the Masters would have to be the best story ever. Being that I am in the "I love my lady eternally" frame of mind being recently engaged, I have to say that Lefty winning it after suffering through his wife's cancer for the last year, is not only a better story, but much more special. So what if your main attraction slept with half the porn industry, probably caught a disease, and then came back to "almost" win. Good for him. Compare that to second fiddle athlete completely overshadows mega-star/adulterer/global icon to win the Masters despite fighting alongside his wife who is battling life threatening cancer. Uh, I'll take the latter. I refuse to celebrate a man who put himself in his own predicament. Phil, way to fight off the field, including a rejuvenated Fred Couples, and win. Those late round birdies were key. Still no four rounds of under 70, but hey you prevailed. At 16 under no less! Congrats. We should celebrate his win, not Tiger's fourth place finish. (Though I will admit, damn, fourth. He is a beast.)

In what the fuck is this, Molsen? news, man oh man. Apologies to Dobbs, but what a finale in this season's race for Rocket Ricard's trophy. Ovechkin just couldn't do EVERYTHING could he? Loser. LOL But let's not dwell on Ovechkin's near tie, lord knows he tried, but let us celebrate the clutchness of Crosby and Stamkos. Crosby scoring two goals to seemingly seal the goals scoring title, and Stamkos getting a lucky as hell empty netter to tie was the type of down-to-the-wire title chasing this sport needs. Good thing Florida couldn't make a game of it or Sid might have had the outright trophy. But no one minds sharing. Right? And as stated, kudos to Alex for trying hard to match with SOG attempt after attempt. He just couldn't get that last wrister. Too bad, so THIS year you won't win the title. Also, extra NYC non-kudos to the Rangers pulling an Iceland in Mighty Ducks 2 and nutting on the last shot in your Shootout to lose not only the game, but your playoff hopes. Or should I be congratulating the Flyers for finally getting past the ghost/stink of Lindros. Either way, nothing good came out of this. Here's to the Sharks making it atleast to the West Finals. If not, I might have to switch teams. Yes, I know, it's against Dunn rules to switch teams, but this team's love was based solely on the color of a 1995 Starter jacket. Not exactly Fallon in Fever Pitch here. Who am I kidding, Caps in 6 over the Blackhawks. I can't believe I just typed Blackhawks. Hey, The Rays made it in MLB so anything can happen.

In NBA news, the Bulls beatdown of the Bosh-less Raptors solidified the last spot in the East, ensuring the Bulls now get the chance to be swept out of the first round by the Cavs. Yay! (Sarcastic enthusiasm) So Bosh, have I mentioned my Pacers ended this season on a great win streak? Well not streak, but we won more in the last month than we did all season so that's got to mean something. After we draft Wall, I'm looking to pick up Bosh. OOOhhhhweeee new campaign! Wall/Bosh '10 for the Pacers. Alongside Granger, what a trio that would represent! Someone get me Donny Walsh....., oh yeah, he's directing the Knicks now. Welp, there that dream went. A dream deferred until next draft. Oh and I am sorry to disappoint, but the Lakers look tired. They will not only not win the West, but will be out in the second round. Print that! Oh, I just did.

Lastly, the Steelers 86'd Santonio and shipped him to my hometown Jets for a fifth round draft pick. The league then swiftly suspended Holmes for the first four games due to violation of the leagues substance abuse policy. Understandable that this will not fly, but please explain to me how was this a good move for the Steelers again? They already had zero receiving options (tell-tell sign? Holmes caught the game winner and was MVP of their last SB win.) They have a QB who can't keep his hands to himself*, was distracted this offseason, and WILL show up bothered by it next season. So then you have THAT to deal with. My main Newport News man Tomlin looks fed up with all of them and that can't be good. Well in better news, the Jets just continued their development into one of the leagues elite. Better on defense, offense, and ST (check Coach Ryan clamoring for Leon to go back to his deadly returning days) all points to a winning team. So long Pats and Dolphins (especially if the latter let their D leader Jason Taylor leave to who else?-the Jets). Notice I didn't put the Bills? Because not only are we already out of it, but they are going gaga over Clausen, knowing that my dream team of Vick/Tebow will be the only thing that will allow us to secure the FA no one is talking about; Brandon f-ing Marshall! We certainly won't get him if we draft Clausen, besides a second round pick will be what we have to give up to get him. Plus, I still have a sour taste in my mouth from when big brother(Jimmy)Clausen was a Vol. You know what, nevermind. According to my buddy Sam, Primetime's homeboy Bryant should be available with that second round pick so we should be fine in the developmental troubled WR front. So here's to the Jets steamrolling the comp. I can't wait for this draft. The speculation is killing me.

*So Roethlisberger didn't get charged. No shit, Sherlock. Was he ever going to be? When the videotape got "recorded over" (of course), that was that. Oh Ben, between face first window smashing motorcycle crashes, and face first vagina plants, your karma has to eventually run out. I hope you are no where near me when it does.