Let's go O. D. U.!!!!!

So like a hot chick that has chlamydia the Gods have worked against us yet again. No my Monarchs are not out of it, yet. We should still have an automatic bid into the dance. But just to make things as interesting as possible, who did we decide to schedule for the last game of the season, with a ticket waiting to be punched: the damn VCU Rams. For those of you who don't follow CAA basketball, which is a fantastic and ultra competitive conference I must say, this team is the Yankees to our Red Sox. We lost to them earlier this season in Richmond, and have to take this game at home Saturday if we want to guarantee our entry. If not, we HAVE to win the conference tournament to make it stick. A spot in the semis may not be enough. Our conference looked alot stronger until Northeastern and W & M decided to commit suicide in their respective recent losses. They are NIT bound and our conference got weaker because of it. Another negative is the fact that Northern Iowa followed their "upset" win over us with their own weak loss. That reduces the severity of our loss to them. Why is this a good thing you ask? It's not. It sucks balls actually. Which is why we HAVE to beat VCU Saturday. I'll be there, or be square? I'm sorry about that. Moving on.

In Olympic news, I understand we had to get these games over with sooner than later, but making those poor women ski down that gorge in that immense fog was like a cruel joke. Vonn missed her chance, and broke her finger in the process, after inevitably crashing on a turn that I believe made everyone crash. It was like the Special Olympics out there, not very seamless with the transition, but someone had to win. (Was that wrong? Who cares.) I call her outcome in the games, considering the serious bone bruise she suffered just before the start, a victory. She entered injured and left with a gold and bronze. Impressive.

As equally impressive was Canada's absolute beat down of the favored Rooskies. Not only was it incredibly impressive how they made my main Shark net minder Nobokov look like trash times three, but what was more unbelievable was how Ovechkin pulled a Robert Gallery* and decided not to show up. Yes, Sid the Kid also failed to score, but his team won by four goals, so who cares. Russia was supposed to be skating for gold, but instead they get to return back to the NHL medal-less. Double ouch. Well at least Nobokov will have his teammates back, as soon as they finish the Olympics that is.

*Robert Gallery was an O lineman for the Raiders who went schitzo and decided not to show up, literally, to the Super Bowl the year the Raiders loss to the Bucs.

In less dynamic news, I must say that I saw the "penalty" that caused South Korea to lose the gold in their short track 3,000m speed skating relay and I must say it's BS. I have seen speed skaters literally take out competitors and not be penalized. And to have given it away to China makes it bad, but to have the same official that screwed you over in the last Olympics turn around and do it again sucks double. I would petition hard if I were South Korea. If I was, but I'm not. I'm American, and their over-pursuit allowed the Americans to collect a surprising bronze. So thanks, I guess.

I'd like to end today's edition with a little Patriotism. I must say that I am over-patriotic right now at the US's dominance in these games. We have medaled in some events not considered strong suits and athletes are killing themselves for gold. All for the ol' U.S. of A. I also felt this tingle when our new Redeem Team mopped the comp in the Summer Olympics. I wish athletes showed this much gusto season after season. Then I wouldn't have to agree with everything Bill Simmons ever says about late-season cowering by teams. Congrats athletes. You all deserve it.

So Long Pardner

Happy trails to two of the greatest asset backs of our generation. No, LT and Westbrook have not retired, but any resemblance of the superstars that were their prospective teams main weapons are long gone. Damn that inevitable 30-year-old curse! Man I feel bad for running backs. Makes you wonder why anyone would want to become one professionally. I see why Barry retired early. He didn't want to subject himself to the downward nosedive all backs hit at this age. Thanks Barry, because of this you are still the best ever. You and Sweetness. Yet, I digress. Lt loses his spot to Sproles who will play not as well, but will see the same inevitable brick wall in four years. Raise your hand if you think Sproles can take four straight seasons of battery via the lead back title? Me either. So where then does LT end up? I say the Patriots. For a few reasons. First, they have no running game. Sorry, Faulk's a receiver in a backs body and the Predator is done. Lt wants to win and win now. Secondly, this is Moss' last season as a Pat. Heck he even said it himself. Welker is coming off a nasty injury. Their other receiver is Edelman. I'll bet my mortgage on Brady digressing heavily after this season. This is win or die territory. LT is just the infusion of talent they need. As far as Westbrook, I am guessing the Skins. He seems like one of those backs that will bounce around with divisional foes who were tired of him terrorizing them. Too bad he is nowhere near that scale. Two seasons, that are injury-filled mind you, and he's gone.
I almost wanted to say that they were both victims of the "Bledsoe"(you know, lost their jobs cause they got hurt, like he did with Brady), and you could say that this is the case because of the emergence of the aforementioned Sproles and McCoy. But age had everything to do with their being released because at their primes both were unstoppable. Period. Farewell guys.

Aw shucks to Bode Miller for getting disqualified, ala Jacobellis but not as stupidly, for nailing a gate in his event today. Here's to him murdering the slalom this weekend to become the first Alpine skier to medal four times in an Olympic games. That's quite a feat and I wish him well. Hey Bode, have a shot for me if you do it. I know you'll have twenty anyways.

Speaking of murdering, Jayson Williams, (you know the murderer, not the NCAA TV analyst/bike stuntman or White Chocolate, but the one who shot his limo driver by accident and then tried to cover it up like a bad L&O episode) yeah him, he finally got sentenced today. Only almost ten years later. I hate to do this, but I just saw Law Abiding Citizen, ooh I really don't want to reference this hypocrisy of a film, but it's sooo relevant. Isn't there quite a parallel between the two regarding justice? Would it be too surprising if one of the limo drivers kids suddenly started offing all those involved with the 5 year, really 18 month, slap on the wrist this repeated criminal just got. It's okay karma will get him in the end. See one of my first entries about him and his need to get in trouble with the law. Here's to what's coming to you, jerk.

Lastly, I'd just like to point out to the Wilson's up there in Niagara Falls county that Tebow just refined his throwing arm and will be ready to back up Vick next year. J/S

By the hair of their chinny, chin, chin

This pertains to quite a few games/teams that battled it out this weekend. First up....

3 straight losses has the mighty LBJ's on underdrive. This is what Jamison brought? Lackluster effort and losing ways? I will point out though, that a lot of Cleveland faithful breathed a sigh of relief after Antawn's solid follow up, following the game we shall not mention. But with that being said, uh, I don't think so. This is a team that just acquired an All-Star quality 3/4(I refuse to use the term stretch 4) and got back their spark plug in Mo Williams. Give them another game to gel and it's lights out on the competition. Who's gonna stop them, Orlando? You mean the same team that has a 2009 second half Manny Ramirez-like "Superstar" in VC, and another "Superman" who got molested like a nine year old boy at a Catholic church youth sleepover by the real SUPERMAN the entire game, during their "win" this weekend. I saw the whole she-bang. Or should I say he-bang. Buuuhh-zing (That was in poor taste. Sorry, I'll move on)

In another too-damn-close-for-comfort UK game, the Cats, just like in our last SEC battle, just necked out a win. And against a really tough Vandy team. They deserve to be in the dance. They are a tough, tough team. I have not seen us get pushed around like that all season. Cousins was crying more than usual(but hitting his FT, something he didn't do last game) and Bledsoe was a no-show. Kudos to Pat Pat(I just made that up) for playing like the beast he will show people next year in the league he is. Solid defense and that three late in the second half nailed it. In addition, I must say much respect to Wall for his HUGE block on Jenkins who had just J'd him up a second before, to pull Vandy within one. (BTW: I heard during the telecast that this kid averaged 46 a game in high school. Wow. That's something my high school star Leon Washington could never have done. And this guy chose Vandy? Why?)

Another squeaker came courtesy of Ohno, Shani "Folk" Davis, Lady Vonn, and my main man Bode who all performed in medal winning fashion this weekend in their individual competitions. Extra kudos to Ohno for becoming the most decorated American Winter Olympian of all time. So let me get this straight. Two of our most decorated Olympians are Apollo Anton Ohno and Michael Phelps. One guaranteed pothead and another who I have a suspicious feeling also "enjoys his relaxation time after work". Only in America. For those of you expecting me to say something about Team USA's win in hockey over heavily favored Canada yesterday then prepare to be, well, indifferent on my reaction. I will say that it literally angers me that they showed a full Documentary about "Do you beeeleeeve in MIracles!" this morning on ESPN. NO. NO. NO. This does not, in any way, even mildly compare to that win. We were fighting an entire country in that game. Not just Sid the Kid. Did you see Rocky IV(4)?! I did. And I swear I didn't see Patrick Kane running up a mountain or Crosby taking electroshock charges like a Statham in Crank.
So let them get into the Semi's and we'll start a debate. Until then, just like those asshole announcers who start talking about No-Hitters in the fourth inning, shut the hell up. They haven't done anything yet.

I'll end* tonight's edition with a HUGE congratulations to Jimmy for taking his first of the new season. Yeah it's just another California win, but it is also another notch in the W column for an eventual HofF career. Harvick enjoy the top. You won't be there for long. Number five here we come!

*Well wishes to Bubbachuck and his daughter.

Big Winner: The Association

As in the National Basketball Association. What a crazy trade day it's been. Guys moved, in some cases multiple times, and others didn't. I felt that this would be an inopportune time for me break down each one. You know, give you the "real" insight on who screwed the pooch and who didn't. This will be an overall synopsis of the players each team has received, as well as those lost. Hold on to your seats because it's gonna be a wild oooone!

Knicks receive: T-Mac(from Rockets), Sergio Rodriguez(from Kings, who will take Duhon's job), and Brian Cardinal (from Wolves for Darko)

Knicks lose: Larry Highes (to Kings), Jared Jeffires (FINALLY!!!!!! to Rockets), rookie Jordan Hill (to Rockets), two future first round picks (Rockets have option to swap first round picks with Knicks in '11 and '12).

The latter part of this is what bothers me the most. Yes, the picks are top 1 and top 5 protected respectively, but what if you get pick number 2 and number 6? Now you lose two higher first round picks in two crucial years that will follow the assembling of your new team. All, mind you, for a player that will arguably be out of the league in three seasons. Yeah the other players movement was imperative to clearing cap space, but T-Mac hasn't played a healthy season, since when, ever!? I just feel that they could have kept at least one of those picks. They gave up too much. Plus they still have Duhon. Here's to T-Mac not playing even a full half season.

Kings receive: Carl Landry & Joey Dorsey(from Rockets), Larry Hughes(from Knicks)

Rockets also received: Kevin Martin(from Kings, HUGE! pickup) & Hilton Armstrong


Cavs receive: Antawn Jamison(from Wiz) and Sebastian Telfair(from Clippers)

Wiz receive: Big Z(from Cavs), Josh Howard(Mavs)

Clippers receive: Drew Gooden(from Wiz via Mavs; who got traded a second time in a day, ha ha he sucks), Outlaw(from Blazers), Steve Blake(from Blazers)

Mavs receive: Caron Butler, Brendan Haywood, & DeShawn Stevenson(from Wiz)

Blazers receive: Camby(from Clippers)

This Cavs trade is big because of a few reasons. First, Jamison is a beast. He'll play dead to play with Shaq and LBJ. This is a guy who has performed his whole career, gets put with Agent Psycho, and now finally has a chance to go deep into the playoffs, if not win a championship. Great for him and an excellent piece to complement. I have to say they are now my favorites in the East. Secondly, Stoudemire would have clashed with Shaq. It was a definite. But, kudos to the Mavs for replacing Josh Howard with a cornucopia of talent. I mean that seriously. I like Butler, Haywood is a serviceable big man, and Stevenson can cheer his pants off. Bollocks to the Wiz for only getting an old Z and Howard. I guess they'll be major players this summer as well.

Here's a few more quality moves.

Bulls receive: Hakim Warrick & Joe Alexander(from Bucks)-obviously, to replace Tyrus Thomas with, by my guesstimating, an even swap of Warrick. I assume the Bucks realized that they shat on themselves by drafting Alexander.

Bobcats receive: Tyrus Thomas(from Bulls)-this is great for their Eastern playoff run. Good pickup to shore up inside presence.

Bucks receive: John Salmons(from Bulls) and two second round picks (Another scorer to defer to Jennings)

I'll end it with the dumbest move of the day. So if you are watching the league this season you'll know the Grizzles(no "i" needed) are blowing away expectations and contending in an even-more-than-thought-of competitive West. So answer me why then would they trade a first round draft pick for Corey Brewer! He's a great defender, but he's a fourth tier Gay, or Mayo at best. They could have used that pick as better trade bait or for a young power Center in the draft. Someone they could develop. I just do not understand this trade.

So there you are. I officially have carpel tunnel and Stoudemire is still a Sun. And House is still a Celtic, meaning Nate Robinson is still a Knick. Can't wait til the summer.

Tonights special: An order of Perseverance

I'll lead off tonight with a little congratulatory spotlight; illuminating a couples figure skating team that accomplished one of the more impressive feats I have ever seen. The duo I speak of is China's married couples pair of Wongbo/Xue. This is a couple who have skated together for years, even having Wongbo propose to Xue after just finishing a routine. To put it bluntly this couple IS figure skating. Unfortunately though, they have never tasted gold in an Olympic games. Why? Well, in the twelve years they have competed, you can add 34 more to that and it will total the number of year's Russia has maintained a stronghold on the top prize. Now, digest that for second. 46 years. Imagine if someone, a team, held the top spot for half a century. I mean do you realize how insane that is? Every season KNOWING that this is the year you break through and win the title, and every single time no one advancing higher than first place loser!? How demoralizing. But this is not your average duo apparently. They epitomize the true essence of what perseverance truly means. Here's to them, and for this, they lead my blog tonight. Game recognize game.

Also a solid handshake to Billy Corgan/Janikowski for scaring his way to the richest contract for a kicker. I don't know about you, but I have never been able to stare this guy straight in the eye. But his game is undeniable. He's hit on a nudge under 80% of his kicks, and after a sluggish start, has formulated himself quite a career. I remember watching him kick for Florida State. I mean he made it understandable why the Raiders would use a first round pick on him. He was a beast. Glad to see talent actually wining out in the end. Way to...wait for it.....persevere.

I'll end tonight's quick edition with two more blips.

First, shame on you Jacobellis for finding another way to lose a medal at another Olympics. Sad part is, not only did she lose gold, she lost a shot at any medal and finished last after botching her landing. Worse, it was a shoulder to shoulder jump with the eventual gold medal winner. This girl has bad karma all around her. I'd stay away. I guess she persevered at losing?

Secondly, here's to more perseverance in Nuggets coach George Karl as he battles throat cancer. Get well there guy.

Guess who's Biz-aack

That's what Junior Earnhardt should be singing. (Not sure that he's a Siegal fan though) I will say that despite more compelling story lines (JJ coming in, going for number five in a row and Nascar's first serious woman driver on Saturday), seeing Junior split two cars on the final push evoked memories of how he SHOULD be driving, and got me excited about this season. Where has this guy been? The excuse and bad luck voodoo might finally be gone. Now I was never one to compare him to Sr., but seeing how he charged out of the gate like a beast, got lamented with buckets of false superstar glue, and subsequently mustered enough excitement to make children by Wranglers, along the way he has simply failed to live up to a hype that was, well, warranted. He was Dale's son, part of THE family. He should have at least won a Cup by now. Or at least threatened. So after a completely miserable 09 season, guess who's bizack! Thanks to a shared comradary between he and, interestingly enough, Mr. Grumpy himself, Mark Martin. Oh, the wonders of Hendrick Motorsports and their Steinbrenner like grasp on the circuit. The main difference between this family and those whine boxes is that I actually love this family. So here's to Jimmy taking number five, Gordon slowly drifting away, Martin getting a few more wins to finish out a HofF career, and Jr. becoming respectable again. And to Smoke and Carl Edwards losing miserably along the way.

And congrats to Jamie McMurray for proving all of Vegas wrong. Way to get a lucky win now. That won't happen in July.

Houston we have a problem. And I'm not speaking of a Rockets team about to move their franchise player, while receiving nothing in return. Call it a clean break. Hey Rocket fans, I know your pain. Santana anyone? No, the travesty I speak of was this weekends All-Star bonanza. What a terrible waste. Too much Charles Barkley and not enough good festivities. Decent game. (In all honesty I only watched the first half DVR'd this morning. Sue me. I was getting it in, so to speak.) So highlights showed me that Wade finished 'em off and the East won. I still wish A.I. would have played. What was most depressing was the dunk contest. Can someone take this event behind the woodshed and end it. I wish I could call Tony Soprano, so he can get someone to "take care of it". I mean the only reason we were entertained was because Nate Robinson looked like a midget jumping off a trampoline. Yes, he has hops. Derozen stopped caring at the finals, for some reason, and Nate self ally-ooped himself the title. Did you see the completely uninspired efforts by Wallace and Shannon Brown. And the latter has a website dedicated to highlighting his dunks! Hey Shannon your in L.A. You should know that you only do things if you get paid for it. This was something you could have gotten paid for! Well, get 'em next year. Maybe.
Congrats to Pierce for getting hot at the right time in a weak three point contest.

IN other, better basketball news, my UK Wildcats played tough when it mattered Saturday to upend a feisty (can I say that?) Tennessee squad. Hopson's a beast. We know that. But their bench guys played inspired ball. But that's where the praising ends. My Cats went to work late in the second half, without a full Cousins, who had taken a one way ticket to whineville. Wall attacked, Bledsoe got hot, and we finally figured out a way to combat the 3-2 zone. This all added up to a #2 ranking. F-ing Kansas. I can't wait to play them. Oh, and yes of course those jerks are still top 10.

I'll end this with a statement to the public. America needs to be paying more attention to the CAA. What a season this has been! My Monarchs are deadlocked at first, a place they previously held and lost, with a Northeastern squad that just mopped us. People are getting upset and getting crucial wins with every game. It is truly comparable to the Western conference in the NBA. Or at at least the Big East. After beating Mason, we should handle a weak Towson squad, leading up to huge non conference game against Northern Iowa. UNI is a team who is easily leading its conference, but who also just lost a big one to an underdog Bradley team. A win against UNI would hopefully all but secure a dance ticket for ODU. Don't slip up at Towson and my Monarchs should get it done. Hey, the AP gave us four points. J/S

Team New.S.A.

Here's your holdovers, and newbies, for the FIBA Championships this summer, as well as your 2012 Olympic squad hopefuls. Holdovers: Mamba, Dayron, Wade, CP, Melo, LBJ, D Howard, Bosh, and Boozer. I'd like to say these are all locks, but I can't see Boozer playing at this level in two years. Sorry I just think he's selfish and only plays for stats. Utah fans may disagree, but I don't think they have any "real" fans anyways so who cares. So with eight definites, that only leaves a possibility of seven more players to add on. So given that Durant is a lock, what six do you pick from: Billups, Rudy Gay, Eric Gordon, Granger(lock!), the other A.I., (Al) Jefferson, new all-star D.Lee, Brook Lopez, Love, Mayo, L.O., Amare, Gerald Wallace, Westbrook, D Rose, and for some unGodly reason Kendrick Perkins. Well he's not making it. And neither is Lamar/Khloe Odom. Westbrook, Love, Gordon, and Lopez are not quite there. Good, but not Internationally good. Yet. The other A.I. is not good enough. D. Lee I think would play splendidly given the Euro rules and his knack for hard work, but I don't think the committee will pick him over Wallace. Granger makes it based on his Redd appeal. Simply put he is one of few who can consistently hit the three ball. Which is imperative in Int'l play. Ask Chauncey and Amare. Speaking of, they both make it based solely on kick back for playing on weaker squads. Jefferson makes it because they need size. So that leaves Gay, D Rose, and Mayo for the last spot. This was a tough decision. Do I take Rose's floor game and ability to break down the D? Mayo's game is really that, but he's a little bigger in size. So, do I take Mayo? Well, that's essentially what Gay is. Plus, he's bigger than Mayo. And can post up. And can hit the three. And he's impressed the panel by making the Grizzles (yes, Grizzles, not Grizzlies) watchable. So there's your squad: Guards-Dayron, Wade, CP, Mamba, Billups*, and Gay. Forwards-LBJ, Melo, Durant, Granger, Wallace. Centers- Howard, Bosh, Amare, and Jefferson. What a team!

*Rose makes it if Billups legs fall off before summer of 2012. Which is possible considering he's been playing since my KJ jersey days. Interesting tidbit, Rondo and bum-ass Bynum turned down offers to join the preliminary squad. AKA, save yourself the embarrassment and stay home. Bynum, what a joke.

Speaking of needing to retire, Pedro Cerrano AKA Malik Yoba AKA Delgado stated recently that if he doesn't get the contract he believes he deserves then he'll retire. Hmmm. Haven't I heard this somewhere before? Oh yeah The Real A.I. said that. And he eventually got a contract. And has promptly been hurt/not there for "personal" reasons, since signing said contract. So am I to expect an tear-filled news conference, followed by signing, followed by uninspired play? As much as it pained me to write negatively towards News' own Bubbachuck, I'd like to take a pass on the drama. No thanks. He's not worth it.

Lastly, I thought I'd touch on the fact that Maurice Clarett was again asking for early release from prison. Then I realized how hilarious it is that he's in prison and I completely forgot. So I chose otherwise. Instead, here's hoping that the NFL does in fact agree on a new CBA because then my Bills can sign Peppers. Is that too muchto ask. He's too expensive right now, and we're simply aren't good enough for him to waste away. Give me two years, a couple solid draft picks, a new league contract, and he'll be ours for the taking. J/S

Glad baseball is my #1

So with recent news about a possible lockout in 2011 bears a few questions.
First, does that make the summer smoregesborg of 2010 less enticing? I say, no. I'm excited to see where all these free agents will end up just like when you did a round robin draft in Live and players ended up anywhere. I think we'll find new found love for the game, as well as some heavy sulking for those who don't get the chance to play with LeBron. Then, if a lockout happens, teams can work on chemistry for a whole year. Then think about how good teams will be. I mean my Pacers might even steal someone. Imagine a Steve Nash driven offense in Indy. Well, at least I can. Granger would average 40 a night.

Second, will this drive desire for the game down even more? They just had a lock out ten years ago. Then, to drive the final nail, the reason everyone watched officially retired. Tim Duncan's boring ass was leading us into this new renaissance of defense and team play. This new slow down ball cost the Lake Show (including a pre-Heat freebie Payton and Mailman), LBJ's Cavs, and Zie German's Mavs all titles. For the record, no one wants to root for Ginobili, Duncan, and Parker. No one. Have a I explained to you how much I hate Thonie Par-care? Oh I can't wait until Duncan retires so he can stop making this bum look good. Anyways, if not for the draft of 2003, the NBA might have folded by now.

So, I'd say this lock out is just what the game needs. Give people a season to try and get introduced to these new video game squads. Vegas will go nuts. ANYONE could win it all. Well anyone who has LBJ and another all-star. Could you imagine how well he'd play if he were truly motivated? Oh yeah, that's happening right now. The Cavs are good people. Thank you cuz for reminding me. This is a team that right now is playing with a crazy PG, without another injured one, with Boobie Gibson, with Verajao as a top three offensive contributor, Z, sans knees, and Shaq sans anything. But they are playing out of their minds right now. Shit, just check Danny Green's diameter on his smile. If they win it all I swear this guy has to be the Eric Hinske of championship winners.

Then, just as quick, take it all away. That off season the chatterboxes would be hawking. Trades will get thrown around, as pick up games turn into All-Star exhibitions. Then a deal would inevitably get struck sending us all into a frenzy debating over who's out of shape, who wants to retire, and more importantly, who is more driven. This will be an intriguing few months as talks continue.

Did I mention that the NFL make lock out after next season? Possibly this season? Hence the title.

Who Dat gon' win da Super Bawl!

Congratulations to the New Orleans Saints for finishing one off the most memorable seasons ever. Not just NFL, but of every game I have ever watched. I've watched great ones: Miller's 8 points in 18 seconds against the Knicks, one game playoff last year to see the Twins win the title, Cuse's 6 OT game last year. I've seen some bad: Wychek's forward pass/Miracle, The Giants dismantling of Moss and Culpepper's mighty Viking squad in the NFC Championship, and Van de Velde nutting in the clutch. But nothing topped the excitement and shear magnitude that SB 44 brought. I mean I, like most, thought after 10-0 the game was looong over. Peyton and his line were firing at will. I don't think the Saints so much as sniffed Peyton in quarter 1. Then all of sudden the Saints coaches went all, uuuhhhh let me find just the right adjective. All Peyton on the Colts and figured out not only ways to pressure the QB, but stuff a sudden champion like run game, all the while turning up the heat on offense. They literally did what the Colts had done to the Jets two weeks ago. I wouldn't be surprised to learn the Saints watched that entire tape. Oh wait. They can, and did. Brees laid a crawfish-laced smack down on the Colts beleaguered D and started ringing up the board like a 65 year old at Keno. A splendidly pulled off onside kick and a deja-vu induced Porter pick later and the Saints were giving humans a legitimate reason to call out on Monday. Here's to the Saints. You deserve it. Peyton, Next year baby!

Kudos to the NFL committee that was responsible for committing what I call one of the worst crimes in the history of mankind. A robbery has taken place. This crime I speak of is that of Andre Reed not getting inducted into Canton. Now, it's bad enough that Carter and Tim Brown didn't get in, but to leave out the G.W.R.O.A.T.N.N.J.Rice! It's an abomination! It's a hypocrination! And a tyrnantion! The three Touchdown's that solidified the Frank Reich led greatest comeback of all time comeback? The rat tail? I mean come on. What does a guy have to do? Win a Super Bowl? Oh yeah.

Moving on, muchas gracias Nova for falling to Georgetown. This is a of course a prelude to my summarizing of how ODU can now beat Nova. Nova, your not as much toughness and almost as good scoring ability display showed why you belong outside of the top 5. Here's to my Pacers drafting Reynolds. Hey, he's like 27. You know he's NBA ready. J/S

Uh Ms. Vonn, I hope that's a yoga move.

Looks like the PM (Post Melo) life is what's best suiting the Nuggets right now. They are 5-2 in the seven games Melo has missed and Big Shot is playing out of his mind right now. He hoists up a career high in shots in Mondays win against Sactown and now hits a career high 39 in taking out Mamba and the Lake Show. It must be nice for Melo to have someone who can carry the team when you are down. Imagine if Wade or Bron had that? Wade did, and won a championship. LBJ is about to, but with a ton less help. Wouldn't you think that Melo could win one with Billups, long-range extrordinaire J.R., and a big man (Nene) who I have noticed is playing extremely well. Put Wade or LeBron on this team and we are talking powerhouse. It's amazing that Melo was the one who won the college title. Where'd that pedigree go? I really can not see the Nuggets winning with him because he doesn't have that drive that he had in college. I watched Syracuse's championship game and he had a need in him. This yearning to be the best. It made him a killer. Once he collected that first check and married LaLa, that all changed. He doesn't want to be the man, just a great player. Kind of like Nique. CAN dominate, but isn't hungry enough to do it night in and night out. Get out now Chauncey, while there is still time. I know it's your dream to play for the hometown Nugs, but it ain't happening. Sorry.

In other "Champion" news, Mike Irvin was recently sued in civil court for rape. Now first off, I'm sure he had sex with her. Secondly, I wasn't aware it was possible to civil sue for rape. It's basically her saying look, you manhandled me in the bedroom, and I may have or may not have liked it. Regardless, unless you want me to go the media with this "rape" you gon' have to come up with some Champion-like greenbacks. Wait, I'm no lawyer, but this seems a bit like extortion to me. And to drive the final nail, apparently the sides were working on a settlement, but couldn't agree, and like clockwork, the story broke. First she reportedly wanted a million, then it was 800,000. Shit, for a trip to Fiji that my lady so badly wants, I'll sell my body to Irvin. Hey man, 30 minutes of hell for a lifetime of whatever-it-is-I-want-to-do-in-the-sack? I'll take it. "Remember Fiji" would be the new slogan in the Dunn home. "Oh your tired? I'm sorry. You know when I was REALLY tired. Remember Fiji". Ahhh, sit back and enjoy. I'm telling you. He's no Redford, but if I close my eyes real tight.....lol I digress.....

A story I hadddd to read about was USC's recruitment of a 13 year old boy. No you read that right, 13! So I have a problem with this for a number of reasons. First, he's 13. That's all. No not really, but come on. This poor 13 year old kid will now have this enormous pressure on him to not get hurt, stay focused, get the grades, and most importantly, PERFORM. What kind of life is that for a 13 year old? Second, what are they to do when Kiffin's gone? Because he most certainly will be by 2015. He's a leach, as USC will soon learn. I thought when he signed to UT and instantly generated bad publicity that it was an omen. A couple months into his USC job and...I swear I have this weird case of deja vu. There is no guarantee that the next head coach will still want this kid. And oh what damage that would do to the kid? Last, what a jerk his father is.
To quote him, "For the people that don't like kids getting recruited early, if it was their kid, what would they do? Would they hold them back?" "I understand people's opinions and I respect that everybody is allowed to have an opinion but I don't really have a problem with people young, old or in between getting recruited. I don't think it's a big deal. People talk about pressure and expectations but that's not who David is. He doesn't feel a lot of pressure. (Uhh, BECAUSE HE'S 13!!!!!!) He loves football and he likes to have fun. I told him if it ever gets to a point where he's not having fun to stop and we'll play golf."
Really? Golf? Typical. Everything can just be swept away because the kid gets bored. Look at 13 I wanted to be an oceanographer. (Sue me. Something about seeing a young Affleck in Voyage of the Mimi did something for me) You could have given me a yacht and an X on a map, and I would have been good. Now? I'd kill myself. Point being, he may looove football, but who is to say he will in five years. I get it dad and USC, this is just in-case. Well it's a good thing dad also likes football because something inside of me says that if it were Nascar, we'd be second-guessing letting our little man onto the track. I just see this going down in flames, no pun intended.

One more blip just because I have been absent for a day, and just cause I feel like it. Lindsey Vonn looks hot on the S.I. cover. Feminists get over it. I guarantee you more men watch downhill skiing than ever before. Be fortunate that you have an extremely hot representative to promote the sport. Yeah I understand it's sexist, but the people who make most of the head promotions and advertising decisions are men. You want your sport more nationally broadcast, men are who you see. Look, it didn't take me moving to one of the largest cities in the world to know men love women. Doesn't matter what they look like. But this one is hot. So shut up and allow her to bring more attention to a sport no one cared about. If the WNBA had a knockout like Vonn, maybe they wouldn't be folding in two years. (Wait they're not? Wishful thinking)

See you Monday. Hopefully there is a game big enough to talk about.

Winner Here!

Locker room issues in Boston eh? So says All-Star PG Rajon Rondo. Well I guess there has to be right? What could this team be not caring about? Fighting for another Championship? Regaining All-Star status? Proving people wrong by playing your arse off so you don't get traded to a non-contender like Charlotte? (here's looking at you Jesus) I think the Celtics need to just take a step back, breathe, dig in, and play ball. I was watching the C's game against the Lake Show and I heard the announcer state that Rondo was the C's best player right now. Really? I mean I am a UK man blue and blue, but a team with three possible future HofF's, I can't see that. Am I supposed to believe that Garnett is done? That Jesus just can't run the court anymore? That Pierce is finally showing affects from that Michael Myers like stabbing from year's back? No way. Cause if so, they got problems. I mean I don't think I have ever seen Perkins smile, ever. So we know he's not motivating anyone. (BTW, what is it with this kid? Is he really that mean/mad. Did he have a rough upbringing? I mean he did jump from high school to the league. You would think they were making him play for peanuts and not millions of dollars! Cheer up you fuck.) So we shall see. One thing I do know is they have seven wins in their last eighteen, and have major problems, with minimal answers.

In other news, Amare' is being drenched in trade talk. I see the best scenario going to....no, not my Pacers. Although the idea of mixing Stoudemire with Granger is quite appealing, I don't see that kind of good luck happening. Plus we're waiting for "the summer of 2010!". Oh, (shaking head) no we're not. No cap room. Too many garbage players. You know who is second on our depth chart at Center: Soloman Jones! The worst part is Roy Hibbert is our damn starter. No hope. Come on ping pong ball!Yet I digress. I believe he should go to the Bulls. Amare' can't play D and Noah is crazy enough that he'll literally kill someone to stop them from scoring. And he doesn't have to do anything on offense. Win-Win. Kind of like Big Ben in Detroit, but looks like an alien from District 9. Also the Bulls have the young talent to unload. Imagine Stoudemire running the lane with Rose on his left and Deng on his right. Istantly top 5 in the East. And Del Negro would instantly become Amare's bitch.

On a semi-related note, I believe LeBron is staying. He loves Cleveland. That's home.

On a last note I'd like to say congrats to Coach Dooley and the boys for already giving me something to cheer about with their first major move as HWGIC. Snagging 5 star Rogers and doing me a personal favor and getting Hunter from Va Beach gave us two big solid WR's. And two 4 star O-linemen. And a 6'6" QB with crazy upside. Here come my Vols. See what Peyton can do!

And middle finger you to the Florida Yankees for getting whomever they wanted. Nice wallets. (That's not fair and not true. I'm just mad so screw it.)

So I just read about two contracts that are quite frankly, unheard of. They are being proposed to two players that are masters at their prospective crafts. I witnessed one for all but the first month of, and last two weeks of the season. In person, at Yankee stadium, in the bleachers, draped with Twins gear, I saw him hit a 402 foot blast to center with a swing so effortless I immediately got pelted with water bottles. It was shear jealousy. The second, I had the pleasure of watching for an entire 60 minutes, completely stay positive when threatened, calmly dissect his opponent, and strike with four straight blows so lethal, the team barely moved post intermission. The first: Joe Mauer. The second: Peyton. Their contracts as follows...

Mauer was reportedly proposed a ten year deal. Ten Years! What is this, hockey? Soccer? Does he deserve this? Well initially, I thought yes. Hey, in his twilight year's he could still swing a sweet stick, even if the power stroke is gone. But he'll still rake somewhat because he's got a swing like Junior. But, then the ol' noodle got to churning. How healthy will Mr. Everything be when he's 36. I mean he did just get back surgery, and he is a catcher so one can only wonder. I love you Joe, but we might have to give you the Vlad treatment. So in that case, I say please, please resign him by Opening Day (which they will), and make it for 6 years. That gives a solid core of the M & M boys squared to see if they can win one for Kirby. Outcome 6 years- $110 million

Now Peyton is a different monster all together. Unquestionably will go down as the greatest QB ever, but the question is will he go down as Elway, or Favre? By this I mean will he go down winning and becoming a leader and teammate. Or will he go out gun slinging, although with diminished skills, still attempting to win it all on his own. Even though he has one of the best up and coming receivers in the game (Rice/Garcon), a game changer (Percy/Wayne), Hard nose runner (AP/Addai), and a killer defense! So the choice is up to him. I believe he'll conform to the team around him and continue to lead by example. I will say this. Two years from now, they better draft a solid QB for him to groom. I think Peyton is a smart enough player to know when his time has come. Maybe not though. Maybe he'll pull a Montana and almost hurt his legacy ala Joe Cool's formidable Cheif years. We just don't know.

But I do know this, this is all just wistlin' dixie because the real reason to ooh and aah over someone else's upgrade will really get you giratin' come summer. Three letters. LBJ.

As I end this I will leave you with this to ponder: If Georgetown beat Duke, and ODU beat Georgetown, then ODU could beat Duke right? Little baby Jesus please let us meet in the dance? This is all I ask of you.

Pro Bowl 50% off clearance

Man oh man. What a weekend in sports. Instant classics( C's-Lakeshow) and foreseen duds (Pro Bowl) made my cup runneth over, leading to a near-fatal bout of alcoholism from sports. Where oh where to begin. Since I'm feeling so high, how about down under.

Fed captured number 16 in unthrilling fashion. I think I've labored through the Mrs.' deconstruction of Project Runway in more interesting fashion(I'm being facetious mind you). Murray decided to play lame duck the first two rounds and after Fed had cut it to hour five cruise control, Murray made just enough unforced errors to finish himself off. He cried. Fed smirked. Next year buddy. Or more like next year that Federer is retired. Oh and Sarena won. Of course.

Oh what an abomination the Pro Bowl has become. I mean I tried my hardest to get behind the hype, but a combination of an unwillingness to care and Lady GaGa's hoola-hoops, I was just taken away. So somewhere in the third quarter maybe I flipped during a commercial and caught the number one reason why I KNEW I shouldn't have wasted my energy on this nonsense: David Gerard was in the game. REALLY!? No one else in the AFC was good enough. Oh yeah that's because Brady's hurt, Rivers is hurt, and Peyton is Championship bound. My vote was for Fitzpatrick. Oh, and did I see Vince Young? I guess he deserved it. Anyways a bunch of points were scored, no one cared, and UVA's own Matt Schaub got MVP. That in itself should tell you all you needed to know.

In NBA news:
I got the pleasure/pain of watching the C's-Lakeshow game this weekend. Man I'll tell you one thing and I swear I am not being biased. Rondo is an All-star. I mean this kid diced through the Lakers so nicely that psycho with the Slapchop couldn't have explained it. It got so bad that Mamba bitched D Fisher into guarding a wobbly Shuttlesworth* and he himself decided to check Rondo. Well needless to say Mamba hit the game winner as the Lakers continued the NBA's recent beat down of the C's.
*Here is my assessment of Jesus. He might not make it past the trade deadline. He's moving slow man. Really slow. And I love Jesus. And not only Jake's son, but I noticed a few things about both teams.
First the C's. Garnett is done. He's running around like Pat Ewing in his Sonic year. Either he's the greatest non-Oscar nominated actor ever or he's hurting. I mean I don't think I have seen that many "my bad" chest taps after being schooled since my cuz Adam getting diced up by me on the court. (He may not agree) Pierce is their force. And every three he shoots looks like he had to give birth just to get it to the rim, but they ALWAYS fall.
Now the Lakers. Gasol should have dominated more. I don't know, the passion just doesn't seem completely there. Bynum is once again garbage. The announcers kept talking about how developed he's become. All I see is a defensive liability that was getting bodied by Perkins angry tail all day. He gets a couple put backs and suddenly he's Kareem. Fish is done. I see him getting traded by the dealine too. And lastly, Artest was NOT the answer. The Lakers are not winning the tile not in spite of, but because of him. And that hurts, but I have seen him jack up too many ill-advised three pointers to see them make it.

I'll end this with more bickering. And guess who it's about. I'll give you one guess. Don't know. It's Monday. So who else could I be talking about, but those connected Blue Devils. Another loss. Another top ten position. And UK dropped to THIRD!!!! Don't you know this was just our first loss? Man they treat UK like they just spray painted a whore in Taiwan. Canes blazing.