So I've finally come to terms with the fact that this makeshift team of minor leaguers that the Twins are trotting out on a daily basis is who I'm stuck with for the next month or so. But just because we rolled the dice too many times this off-season, that doesn't mean I'm going to take it lying down.
Now, in my inner circle of lads, many have attributed my whining of this fact to plain ol' excuse making. Well just to confirm the reasoning behind my becoming a complainobot, I am willing to show stat comparisons from last season's starters against this season's replacements. Now this will only show the players currently on the disabled list, keeping in mind that Morneau is still working his way back(1/9/.202) and despite throwing a NO-HITTER! last week, Liriano's ERA dropped only to 6.61. No, that's not before. That's after.
Here's the other "starters" stats:
(first will be last year's starters 2010 stats followed by replacements present stats-HR/RBI/AVG.)
LF- Delmon Young (21/112/.298) Rene Tosoni (0/2/.179)
SS- JJ Hardy (6/38/.268) Alexi Casilla (0/3/.177)
2B- O-Dog 6/37/.268) Nishioka(hurt) Luke Hughes/Matt Tolbert 1/6/.200
C- Mauer 9/75/.327 Drew Butera (0/4/.115)
DH- Thome 25/59/.283 Jason Kubel (3/15/.351), but b/c he's here that leaves RF open meaning in RF it's Jason Repko (0/3/.208) because Cuddy (3/4/.241) is playing every other position that a starter may need rest from.
Now tell me any manager that could win with these scrubs. We have by far the lowest runs scored for in the league, putting even more pressure on our pitching staff. Can May just end? Any non-believer, at this juncture, could easily be found holed up in a room with Darkside of the Moon or an A Perfect Circle album playing on repeat, but I'm a true fan. And like Rondo, I'll bend over backwards finding ways to celebrate the good times while locating the exact reasons behind every falter. There's always a reason. And I'll always find it.
BTW, kudos to ex-Red great Barry Larkin for breaking down that not only has the elimination of steroids attributed to the rise of the pitcher again, but it is also the amount of pitches these young arms have in their arsenals in today's game. He explained that when he was coming up most hitters knew the one or two pitches they'd get from a pitcher and so they adjusted accordingly. He explained how now, with so many young guys learning three or four pitchers earlier in their careers, many batters are simply too overmatched before they step to the plate. I for one appreciate the power of your older brothers sluggers. I welcome a revisit to the days when Ellis Burks could give you 22 Mr. Simpson's and you'd be satisfied. A day when 20 was good, 30 was great, 40 was unparalleled, and only Cecil Fielder could hit 50. Hey, If fashion can revisit the 90's, why can't baseball?
In NBA news,
The only people who had a better week than the President is all the anti-Laker fans out there. Myself, most certainly included, if only for one Andrew Bynum. Oh, whomever is the religion du jour messiah this week, thank you for confirming everything I have ever said about this tall piece of shit. Certainly someone who is a "dominant big man" and the "future of the Lakers" as every announcer labels him, should not have had any problem handling two of the biggest cast-off centers in today's game. Well to put it bluntly, Mr. shifty-knees got smoked. With a Game L at that. And to retaliate for all of this abuse, as well as to confirm the bully-bitch that he is, Bynum decides to take out Chandl....Haywo....Dirk....oh I'm sorry, it was JJ Barea! The pint sized*, back-up PG! Now if I would have just been torched by this little meteorite for 22 and 8, as the Lakers were, I would be upset as well. I'd be hot. I mean he killed them every game! And I would have real, justified anger. Not ridiculous anger, like say the malcontent of a large number of people angered by the killing of a cold-blooded, malicious, egotistical murderer. And all because a religion has told you to be upset by it. Well you know what radicals of Islamabad, I'm a believer in the Book of Basketball, and Bill Simmons ain't never slayed thousands for a "cause". So yes, I am just as elated as the Simmons clan of the Lakers sweep. But I hold a special place in my joyous heart for Mr. Andrew Bynum, who is to the Lakers as that info dropping courier was to bin Laden, the piece that brought the empire down.
Guess it's time to cue up the Lil' Mac training breaks in Mike Tyson's Punch Out cause I think I hear a little Dust in the Wind. Presently I'm throwing up the kind of deuce to the Lakers that that big eyed chick threw up to the white guy in the Chapelle Mad Real World sketch. Things are about to get Maaad Real. Real World. Hoboken. AIGHT!!!
*(In NBA standards. He's taller than me so what does that make me? I ain't pint-sized B! Yeah, and neither is Money Mike or Kevin Hart.)
