I'll take your Woodhead and raise you a Prince Albert.

How bad is the stank that surrounds Brett Favre right now? It's so rank that even his terribly unattractive sister had the wicked hand of bad luck touch down on her. No, not for being handed the Khloe Kardashian looks card when compared to her sibling. And I'm not gay I'm just saying, no for real, both women are beat. Have you seen Big KK's red mop? LOL Apparently even YOU can look just like her. (I guarantee you I will have nightmares tonight of being chased by an army of masked Khloe Kardashian's! As long as I keep running right?) Have fun with THAT Lamar. Sorry I digress. Sister Favre managed to one up her penis flashing bro, by getting busted, along with a gang of cohorts, for their involvement in a Mississippi Meth ring! No, not a Hattiesburg 4 Method Man impersonator circle, but rather a close to 10 gram methamphetamine lab bust. And her bond was only set at $40 Grand! Don't they know that's what Brett took home just for showing up at the stadium?! And Mike thought Latoya was off the chain.

And with that opening, I must say it's good to be back. I haven't had the ability to unload my rants on the sports world lately due to my inability to not multi-task constantly. Planning my wedding, 2 new scripts being written, and The Wire DVD's have complicated my time management issues. But fret not, SportsAreDunn has been retooled and will now be broadcasted weekly. Which day? Who knows. How many times? (Shoulder shrug) I'm not paid for this.

And away we go!

Before I get into particulars I want to first start off with my winners and losers of this past NFL regular season.
Winners: The Pats (sans Moss), The Pats (with Woodhead), Falcons (sans Vick scandal), Vick (sans Vick scandal), and Haynesworth (well in '11, sans DeadSkins)
Losers: Cowboys(as if this isn't a given), Bengals(Nice one T-Ocho), Coaches(When you can have a slight hiccup(Childress) and get fired, or have years of hiccups (Lewis) and get extended, who knows what you need to do for job security), Titans (for thinking Vince Young's crazy ass was EVER the answer), and lastly, Fans(for another ho hum regular season with an inevitable Patriots SB win on the horizon.)


Two things I have to say before I get into another rant. First, can someone please notice how Kevin Love is morphing into the new Barkley. He's Rodman with the ability to score! He's a more athletic McHale! He's quite frankly, a beast! Secondly, D Rose puts the Damn in "Damn, he's sweet as hell"! The correct way to say that is with a stank look on your face as it comes out. Like he's so nasty, there is actual feces coming out of your screen.

On that note, someone please tell the rest of the NBA that the Heat are winning the Championship. Who's gonna stop em? The Celtics? They can't stay healthy. The Magic? Yeah right. I don't care how much Dream worked with ol' Shoulders D Howard. He ain't (H)Akeem.

Oh, I know who. The Lakers, right? Sorry to burst your crapped filled bubble, but the writing is on the wall with these guys. They lack depth, and Kobe is slowly teetering in that inevitable "I can still carry my team, but not really cause I ain't as young as I use to be" zone that Jeter fell into last year with the Yankees. How can they truly win if it takes Captain Ego 25 shots to get 25 points? And if you read any of my NBA posts last year, you'd know not to bring that weak Gasol or Bynum shit to me. It'll get sent away like a homeless guy, with new found fame, and said fame inevitibly causes him to resort back to the very vices that culminated in his original homeless state. Well, I guess I wouldn't send you to rehab, but I'd give your statement a stern talking to.

In a quick MLB blip, I ask, how in the hell does Bagwell not make it into the Hall?! To use a quote from a great baseball man I know named Michael Soteropoulos aka Marbles, Bagwell "may be the best all around first baseman from 1990-2005." He hit for average and power, had solid glove work, played his whole career for the same squad (which is an underrated stat BTW), and he could run! His being left off the ballot makes me question if any first basemen from my childhood will get in. Big Mac, Raffy, Bagwell, Crime Dog, Mark Grace, Olerud, and Big Cat are all no-go's apparently. So that leaves who? Big Hurt. Is he the only one who stands a chance from the "Steroids Era"? Terrible. I mean I'd even consider Hurt a DH more than a 1B. Welp, it was fun to watch, I'll tell you that.

I want to end this comeback edition by bringing to light a new low for collegiate sports. So let me get this straight, Pryor and the other four Buckeyes, per Coach Tressel, had to commit to returning to school next year and serve out their suspensions in full , if they wanted to play in the Sugar Bowl. A bowl game whose outcome was heavily impacted by all five of these players. Coincidence? I think not. In an oh-so familiar story, instead of reading the writing on the wall and seeing that these players, through their own admittance no less, broke the rules out of necessity for their families, and that an out to the NFL would have probably solved their problems, the NCAA turned it all around? And just how did they handle this situation? By being as greedy as always. Why else? So the players could return, and in turn, bring more revenue back to 'ol Ohio State, and college football as a whole. Would the Buckeyes make a bowl game without them? Maybe, but a bowl is a guarantee with them. Even if they do only play half the season. Looking out in their best interests are we? If by their, you mean the university, and not the students. Let these damn kids go pro and allow them to provide for their families through their God given talents. Tressel said he was making them deal with their punishment so they couldn't go pro and curb their sanctions. Oh, you mean like the billions of athletes before them! Seems to me like the "man" got what they wanted and the students got screwed. So in the end who was right? I'm not sure, but I have one simple solution that would fix it all.

Til next time.